Author Archives: David's Father

Ever Vigilant, Hyper-Vigilant

Vigilant. Hyper-Vigilant.

We had an overnight pass with David over the weekend.

While things went well, there were near constant redirects.  There wasn’t anything that can lay a finger on as saying this is a huge issue.  It was just little stuff.

Rather than bringing him home, with the risk that such a trip entails, at least for overnights, we had a hotel.

The idea of using a hotel was endorsed by the facility.  In fact, they paid for it.

Because we had all of the boys, our hotel room had two queen beds and a pull out.  David and I were on one bed, mom on another and the other two boys on the pullout.

Now, in the past when David has been home, I was the primary parent.  I was awake at night to keep him out of trouble.  And while I didn’t stay awake the whole night, I was always aware of what he was doing. I had to tell him six times to lay back down and go to sleep.  No idea what he was going to get into, and if he had asked to use the bathroom, I would have let him.  He never asked.

Sunday morning, we took him back to the facility.  Not one word was said inquiring how the pass went. No good byes from David.  Not.  A hotel isn’t home.

In the end, I guess the pass was a success.  I can’t live, no, let me correct that, we can’t live in a hyper-vigilant state all of the time.  Life doesn’t work that way.

Safety, a blanket I want to wrap around my family.

Safety. the website defines safety as: noun, plural safeties. 1. the state of being safe; freedom from the occurrence or risk of injury, danger, or loss. 2. the quality of averting or not causing injury, danger, or loss. 3. a contrivance or device to prevent injury or avert danger. This weekend we are bringing… Continue Reading

Not to sound pushy – we will discharge if…

“Not to sound pushy.. we will discharge if…” Yes, that’s the opening salvo in a conversation with staff. “If you don’t take David home on an overnight pass either this weekend, or next, we will discharge him.” I argued.  And will continue to argue. In the meeting prior to this one, that included David, I… Continue Reading

The What Would’s – Analysis of Decisions in the life of a child with severe mental illness

The What Would’s… Yes, you read that correctly.  The What Would’s. No, it isn’t some fanciful tale like The Little’s or Mother Goose. This is where we look at David’s life and wonder… a bit of analysis if you prefer that as a descriptor. What would… What would his life look like if after the… Continue Reading

Adoption – Misapplication of the Paintbrush

Adoption. It can be a trigger for negative behavior. Here is a hint.  – Not everyone who is adopted is like my son David.   Not everyone who is adopted has mental health issues. Just because someone is adopted, doesn’t automatically require them to seek psychiatric help. Labeling people for any reason is just not… Continue Reading

Destroying Success – please pray that we aren’t

I title this post “Destroying Success” for a simple fact. David has been in facility based care before.  He has been discharged from such a care to home three times out of the 5 placements he has had.  Each time home has resulted in behaviors so volatile that he experiences frequent trips to the mental… Continue Reading

Listening to a Parrot.

Ever have the distinct realization that the words coming from your child’s mouth aren’t really his? That you are hearing the parroted version of what others have said? Much like listening to a parrot. Not that he has multiple personalities or anything. We had a meeting today, and while we heard from David, it felt… Continue Reading

On Autism and Disability – a youtube video

The thing to take from this video? Never give up hope. With David, we will always hope that there will be a time when he can be a part of society. I didn’t make this video.  All copyright and trademarks are held by their respective owners and I make no claim as to ownership. Tweet… Continue Reading

Playing with fire

I feel like we are playing with fire here.  Admittedly, David also likes to play with fire. David admitted to that too.  We had blamed another child for the small fires.  David claims that it was him that did the deed.  We have not had any of the fires during any of the periods when… Continue Reading