Author Archives: carlyoung

Desperate Act: Mom Accused of Trying to Kill Autistic Daughter – NBC News.com

Desperate Act: Mom Accused of Trying to Kill Autistic Daughter – NBC News.com.

By now, just about everyone in the Autism community has heard about this situation.  I have deliberately held off on commenting so that I could process my own feelings about this.

I help support a number of families through various groups on facebook, and in my home state.  I wish that I could say that the events leading up to the incident in September 2013 were unique to the Stapleton family.  Sadly, I can not.

Our Marc is a lot younger than the Stapleton daughter.  Sure he isn’t quite as developed physically, but let me tell you, strength in a person with uncontrolled rage is an incredible thing.  Words can not begin to describe how powerful these children are.

There were times when Marc would come out of his rage and not have any memories of the incident.  Attacking teachers, parents, siblings and even pets.  Everyone was fair game to him.

Have I ever thought of the solution that Mrs. Stapleton attempted?  No.  I have not.  We cried out for help, and lucky enough that call was answered.  In our struggles with our school district, they saw that we needed help.  That Marc needed help.

Would I like for him to return home and attend our community school again?  Yes.  However I am a realist.  Sure Marc has made great progress in his treatment program, I am proud of him every day.  But…

But, he has made progress in two other facilities before this one.  I wish that things could be different for Marc.  I wish that I could keep the loveable child without the underlying behaviors.  However.  By placing Marc in a psychiatric residential treatment facility, we are ensuring the safety of our whole family.  Including Marc.

It is not easy to ask for help.  It is not easy to say we can’t do it any more.  I know this first hand, caring for Marc, with help from mom almost killed me the last summer that he was home.  It wasn’t suicide.  I was so drained physically and emotionally that I truly had nothing left to give Marc.

Our family is slowly healing.  You can’t undo that level of damage over night.  We do this with laughter, love and kindness.  We also have an incredibly supportive network of friends.

For the record, I don’t condone Mrs. Stapleton for what she attempted to do.  She will likely spend a long time in prison getting over the trauma.  And that is what it is, trauma.  I hope that her family, gets the help and support that they desperately need.

In the end, awareness isn’t enough.  Families need long-term support.  When the risk of working with people and an Autism Help Me. VTda.infodiagnosis is dangerous, and potentially very dangerous who wants to work with that family?  Honestly?  Very few people.

When we placed Marc in his current facility we had to go outside of our state to find the help he needs.  This limits the amount of interaction that we have with Marc to phone calls and in-person visits every couple of months.

Families need help before they feel like the only way is to removal of the child from their life.  You can’t just erase a life and hope everything is better.

~ Carl

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Some times, we just have to look up.

We are trying to get Marc to see more positive things in himself. Right now, any time someone pays him a compliment he pushes it away.  We want to get him to be more accepting of compliments.  It also seems that when he starts doing good, he sabotages his own treatment plan.  So in theoryContinue Reading

Collin Haluska’s Burn Recovery

My friends, Last month, the son of a dear friend of ours was burned in a tragic accident.  He will be a long time in recovering.  Tragically during this time, the home that the family was renting has been sold and now they have to move.  Collin goes to wound care 2 times a weekContinue Reading

updates. the weekly call

So I get called every Friday night.  at 10:30.  I asked for it to be that late in the day. It is just me.  Every one else is asleep.  I can talk freely about Marc, his week, his needs and make recommendations for the staff. Last week, Marc called and told us about this girlContinue Reading

an update about our favorite special ed teacher

Our favorite teacher, you may remember her, I wrote about her vendetta against my wife a year ago last Spring.  She doesn’t think that Marc should be allowed out in public school.  And made mention of the fact that he ruined her child’s first grade education…  yeah.  Her post is here. At any rate, thisContinue Reading

Drew Carey offers reward to help police find false bucket pranksters who tricked special-needs kid | Times Free Press

At what point will the Ice Bucket Challenge cease to be relevant?  Thank you Drew Carey for helping with the reward and standing for what is right! Drew Carey offers reward to help police find false bucket pranksters who tricked special-needs kid | Times Free Press.

Eight tips for the new dads in our world

I admit, the idea of fatherhood scared me.  Here I was, 21, not much more than a kid myself, and finding out that parenthood was coming.  Like it or not, here I come.   When I was 18, a girlfriend had experienced a miscarriage, but I didn’t know that until my daughter was born.   I oftenContinue Reading