Author Archives: David's Father

Not to sound pushy – we will discharge if…

“Not to sound pushy.. we will discharge if…”

Yes, that’s the opening salvo in a conversation with staff.

“If you don’t take David home on an overnight pass either this weekend, or next, we will discharge him.”

I argued.  And will continue to argue.

In the meeting prior to this one, that included David, I heard about how he is regressing.  His behavior is reverting to past behaviors that they thought they were done seeing.

I hate to say it.  These people are professionals.

They asked when he is violent or has been violent in the past.

That’s hard to answer, because it happens whenever he is discharged from care.  Last year it took nearly 10 months of severe behaviors, calls to law enforcement, stays in the psychiatric unit and safe bed to get him back into care.  This is after he was discharged from a facility in January of 2015 against the recommendations of his doctors because the insurance company said he had to go home.

So what’s different?

David does well in care for the most part.  Always has.

Discharge

It’s when he comes home that his world, and the world of those he comes in contact with fall apart.

I told them today that discharging him home would destroy any success that he has seen.

In addition, I explained that just because they aren’t seeing certain behaviors doesn’t mean that the behaviors either don’t exist or will never occur.

We can’t play the what if game.  That’s their response.  We say “what happens if…”  They say “what if that doesn’t happen…”

History shows David to be violent, aggressive, angry, impulsive and abusive to family.

I asked them who is responsible when David hurts someone.

Hurt doesn’t happen only with violent behavior.  It happens in words, deeds, actions, and so much more.

When he is discharged, it is a matter of when, not if he hurts someone.

 

The What Would’s – Analysis of Decisions in the life of a child with severe mental illness

The What Would’s… Yes, you read that correctly.  The What Would’s. No, it isn’t some fanciful tale like The Little’s or Mother Goose. This is where we look at David’s life and wonder… a bit of analysis if you prefer that as a descriptor. What would… What would his life look like if after the… Continue Reading

Adoption – Misapplication of the Paintbrush

Adoption. It can be a trigger for negative behavior. Here is a hint.  – Not everyone who is adopted is like my son David.   Not everyone who is adopted has mental health issues. Just because someone is adopted, doesn’t automatically require them to seek psychiatric help. Labeling people for any reason is just not… Continue Reading

Destroying Success – please pray that we aren’t

I title this post “Destroying Success” for a simple fact. David has been in facility based care before.  He has been discharged from such a care to home three times out of the 5 placements he has had.  Each time home has resulted in behaviors so volatile that he experiences frequent trips to the mental… Continue Reading

Listening to a Parrot.

Ever have the distinct realization that the words coming from your child’s mouth aren’t really his? That you are hearing the parroted version of what others have said? Much like listening to a parrot. Not that he has multiple personalities or anything. We had a meeting today, and while we heard from David, it felt… Continue Reading

On Autism and Disability – a youtube video

The thing to take from this video? Never give up hope. With David, we will always hope that there will be a time when he can be a part of society. I didn’t make this video.  All copyright and trademarks are held by their respective owners and I make no claim as to ownership. Tweet… Continue Reading

Playing with fire

I feel like we are playing with fire here.  Admittedly, David also likes to play with fire. David admitted to that too.  We had blamed another child for the small fires.  David claims that it was him that did the deed.  We have not had any of the fires during any of the periods when… Continue Reading

Admitting the horror

It has come to our attention that David has admitted to trying to kill animals with his hands, and with chemicals. I don’t fault David for admitting the horror that he has tried.  I don’t fault him for it, it is a symptom of his mental illnesses. Last year he attacked me more than once… Continue Reading

Risk Assessment – Hope, Dreams and Fear

What do you do when you need to balance the mental illness of one child against the wellness of a whole family? Do you allow the mentally ill and potentially very violent child to return home? Or do you push for another residential placement? Continue Reading