Author Archives: David's Father

Anxiety high, as we near discharge for David


In a little more than a month, David will return from his fifth placement in six years.  As a result, we are on edge.  Anxiety in people who are already in a heightened state of upset is not good. 

we hope and pray for peace for David, as he struggles with mental illness

We are told that things will be different this time.

By the admissions of the staff where he is, David needs constant redirects.

Last Spring, a psychologist associated with the agency diagnosed David with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder.  This is in addition to the Reactive Attachment, Severe Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Conduct Disorder that he already had.

The Specialist

So I arranged to see a specialist in August so we could get specific recommendations regarding future care planning for David.

Don’t live in the past

We aren’t supposed to live in the past where David tried to kill me.  Where David stole from everyone in the family and a couple of the neighbors.  We aren’t supposed to live in the past with the verbal abuse toward each of us.  The violent outbursts.  The lies to social workers that resulted in investigations from Children and Family Services.

So we prepare.  Unlike the last time he was discharged, we have more notice.  It’s not helping us with our anxiety.

We are supposed to do more home passes, more visits.  They are going to write down their tips for dealing with David when he needs redirection or is invading personal space.  Will that help our anxiety?

We are going against the recommendations of the specialist that we saw in August who said that David needs a supported living environment.  We are trying to apply for services in the Developmental Disabilities realm, but that takes time.

What is painfully clear is that when he comes home, he will not have the same level of services that he had last year when he was home.  We hope and pray that he has improved in his mental health.

I live with a couple of chronic health issues that are affected by stress.  Anxiety like this isn’t helping.


We hope and pray that he doesn’t feel the need to steal everything from his siblings, mom or I.  or that he won’t try to kill me again.

Mostly, we hope and pray for peace for David, as he struggles with mental illness. He deserves a chance, but then, doesn’t the rest of the family deserves to feel safe.

so while we prepare for him to come home, we also are attempting to find more care for him.  As much as I want to believe that he has matured past his mental illness, I just don’t believe that it is possible or realistic.  Only time will tell.

For all of the families struggling with mental illness, a prayer for each of you.  That you may find and experience peace.

National Adoption Month – A thank you

Adoption story – A thank you Readers may remember more than 4 years ago when I wrote about Ronald McDonald and Houdini.  That four post series is still among the more popular posts on this site. My brother and I are adopted.  Our father, adopted us when I was 3 and my brother was 4. … Continue Reading

SMI and the Tragedy of Adulthood

SMI – Serious Mental Illness The National Survey on Drug Use and Health  (NSDUH), which defines SMI (Serious Mental Illness) as: A mental, behavioral, or emotional disorder (excluding developmental and substance use disorders); Diagnosable currently or within the past year; Of sufficient duration to meet diagnostic criteria specified within the 4th edition of the Diagnostic… Continue Reading

Race Conversations

The Race Conversation This isn’t a Black Lives Matter post, yet it is.  Does that make sense? Today, we had a meeting with David at his school because he got caught hacking the school network and surfing pornography during class time.  His punishment is loss of technology privileges for the rest of the semester. In… Continue Reading

Reality Bites

Reality Bites – David is doing well.  I get that. I get that he can’t stay where he is forever.  I understand. In all likelihood, David will be home by Christmas. Experience tells us that, we we can expect 6 weeks of honeymoon before things turn negative.  That will bring us to the first of… Continue Reading

Ever Vigilant, Hyper-Vigilant

Vigilant. Hyper-Vigilant. We had an overnight pass with David over the weekend. While things went well, there were near constant redirects.  There wasn’t anything that can lay a finger on as saying this is a huge issue.  It was just little stuff. Rather than bringing him home, with the risk that such a trip entails,… Continue Reading

Safety, a blanket I want to wrap around my family.

Safety. the website defines safety as: noun, plural safeties. 1. the state of being safe; freedom from the occurrence or risk of injury, danger, or loss. 2. the quality of averting or not causing injury, danger, or loss. 3. a contrivance or device to prevent injury or avert danger. This weekend we are bringing… Continue Reading

Not to sound pushy – we will discharge if…

“Not to sound pushy.. we will discharge if…” Yes, that’s the opening salvo in a conversation with staff. “If you don’t take David home on an overnight pass either this weekend, or next, we will discharge him.” I argued.  And will continue to argue. In the meeting prior to this one, that included David, I… Continue Reading

The What Would’s – Analysis of Decisions in the life of a child with severe mental illness

The What Would’s… Yes, you read that correctly.  The What Would’s. No, it isn’t some fanciful tale like The Little’s or Mother Goose. This is where we look at David’s life and wonder… a bit of analysis if you prefer that as a descriptor. What would… What would his life look like if after the… Continue Reading

Adoption – Misapplication of the Paintbrush

Adoption. It can be a trigger for negative behavior. Here is a hint.  – Not everyone who is adopted is like my son David.   Not everyone who is adopted has mental health issues. Just because someone is adopted, doesn’t automatically require them to seek psychiatric help. Labeling people for any reason is just not… Continue Reading