Author Archives: David's Father

He is not a yo-yo

He is not a yo-yo.

You know that right?

Yesterday he was granted an extension on his stay in the facility.  This was done so that we could apply for therapeutic foster care.

Today, I guess that we were denied, though I am not entirely sure.  What I do know is that I was told David is being discharged tomorrow.  He is in, he is out, he is in, he is out.  It’s not healthy for him to be jerked around like this, and in truth, it’s not healthy for the family.

He will get maybe 6 hours a week of mentor time and they said something about 6 overnights a month.  I have asked for clarification, none has been forthcoming as of yet.  It’s that yo-yo effect, consistency is what is necessary, not the illusion of consistency.

I swear, it’s like being in the movie Groundhog Day. 

Cover of "Groundhog Day (15th Anniversary...
Cover via Amazon

So David is coming home to a minimum amount of support.  He comes a place where he gets 24/7 support.  I pray that we can maintain a successful stream of steady care for him, not stress his world or ours in ways that cause his violent tendencies to surface we will be okay.  However; when he gets caught stealing and we confront him about that, it can cause his aggressive personality to show it’s face to the world.

At this point I don’t know what else to do.

While I would love to have him home permanently, without supports I don’t know how long it will last.  When he steals things from the people in his life, he will be charged with theft.  The same will occur if he assaults one of us, or anyone else, he will be charged.

Using the legal system to get him the help he needs goes against everything in my mind that tells me what is appropriate for a mentally ill child. Using the legal system in this way is a lot like playing with a yo-yo.

It’s going to be hit or miss as to whether or not it will be effective.  We can only try. I expect that we will see stability for the first few weeks at least, after which, I pray we can continue to maintain stability for David .  If you pray, and believe in the power of prayer, include our son and our family in your prayers.

 

Second Guesses It’s been a long day, and while my body is tired, I can’t turn off my brain.  See, This is the second time in a month we have had David’s time in the facility extended.  While we both knew it was a possibility, I can’t help but feel that he is being let… Continue Reading

Fourth and Goal – I feel like we are in the Super Bowl.  I don’t follow football as a rule, so I had to look up the reference for “Fourth and Goal”.  To be clear, I don’t consider this a game.  David’s life, our family’s life is not a game.  We didn’t sign up for… Continue Reading

Less than 24 hours and a wake up

Less than 24 hours and a wake up from now, barring some intervention, David will be home. He will come home from a supported environment where he has constant supervision, consistent support, and success in school, to home. Home where we can’t recreate the level of support he has now. Where we will live on… Continue Reading

The Liability

Liability. Dictionary.com defines it as: noun, plural liabilities. 1.   liabilities. moneys owed; debts or pecuniary obligations (opposed to assets ). Accounting. liabilities as detailed on a balance sheet, especially in relation to assets and capital. 2.  something disadvantageous: His lack of education is his biggest liability. 3.  Also,liableness. the state or quality of being liable:… Continue Reading

Against Medical Advice

Against Medical Advice. It’s been two years since this happened. Two years ago he was discharged against medical advice,  David was discharged from the facility in another state because the insurance people who create the Certificate of Need decided that he wasn’t making any progress and needed to go home. This week, he will be… Continue Reading

The Hard Decision

I title this post “The Hard Decision” because we have had to make a difficult decision. We made the decision to not bring David home on pass. An expert in David’s disorder has recommended for safety reasons that David not come home. So we have made the decision to refuse passes.  At 15, as much… Continue Reading

Anxiety high, as we near discharge for David

Anxiety In a little more than a month, David will return from his fifth placement in six years.  As a result, we are on edge.  Anxiety in people who are already in a heightened state of upset is not good.  We are told that things will be different this time. By the admissions of the… Continue Reading

National Adoption Month – A thank you

Adoption story – A thank you Readers may remember more than 4 years ago when I wrote about Ronald McDonald and Houdini.  That four post series is still among the more popular posts on this site. My brother and I are adopted.  Our father, adopted us when I was 3 and my brother was 4. … Continue Reading