Dear Why Not Fathers,
I know this dad. He has a son who suffers from mental illness. Really, the whole family suffers with the mental illness of the child. No one person in the family is immune to the tragedy that is mental illness.
He and his family are literally doing everything that they can to help their son.
Yet, he continually doubts himself, thinking that he isn’t doing every thing that he can.
He spends his days looking for other ways to help his son. To help the rest of the family.
I keep telling him that he is doing every thing possible. Yet the doubt still exists.
How do I convince him that he is really doing every thing that he can for his family? That the fault in the system is not his to take blame for?
No amount of money can help this situation, other than maybe to pay out of pocket for a hospital mental health stay. Or to purchase a smaller more fuel efficient car. They are currently seeking placement in a long term facility, long-term by definition is typically 1 year. At which point, the son will need to be transferred to another facility.
It is a situation where even if the family won the lottery, they would quickly eat through their winnings and savings to help their family. To help their son.
The dad is on disability, so the family income is limited to what the mom makes in her job.
Any advice for the Doubting Dad?
Hi Carl, I really feel for you because I have been there. What I finally had to do in order to gain peace, was realize I was not the only person who could help my son. I knew that God loved him more than me and I began to trust Him more. I believed that as tormented as my son was, that God had a special plan for his life. I just gave it up and said, “Lord, he is yours.” We let him go way before we wanted to. It nearly cost my sanity, but I really believe God brought me to that place for a reason. My son is now grown and doing so much better than I could have ever imagined. I am truly thankful and at peace with the whole situation. I wish the best for you and your son, and I admire your determination. Keep on keeping on!
We call it moving to the next level of care. It doesn’t mean we don’t love him. Far from it, it means we care enough to keep trying.
Thank you for sharing your story, I know how difficult it is to do.